Wet Dog Democrats

Americans now gauge crisis levels by the number of memes generated.

“Today we are all Democrats.” As far as I know, nobody said this as they surveyed Hurricane Sandy’s destruction, but somebody really should have. Nothing like a catastrophic weather event to remind people that, oh yeah, maybe a strong central government isn’t the bane of humanity after all! Watching Republicans like Chris Christie fawning over Obama when his Jersey ass is in the fire and “government intervention” is suddenly more than a catchphrase used to rile up excitable right-wingers, is seriously galling.

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How Not to Talk About Yourself at Parties

Old dudes have always liked me; I couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the South and consequently call everyone “sir,” or perhaps it’s because one of my grandmothers was almost lethally imperious, which left me with a healthy respect for the elderly. Whatever the case, I collect old-guy buddies wherever I go, and I’ve come to value their curmudgeonly opinions. When an old guy tells me something, I listen, unlike the rest of you whippersnappers. [Read more...]

Happy Anniversary, Joe Biden (A Political Love Story)

I’ve been looking forward to the Vice Presidential debate ever since Paul Ryan’s candidacy was announced, because I fully expect that Joe Biden is going to eat that smirking plutocrat for lunch. The media narrative of Biden as America’s Daffy Uncle belies the accomplished legislator and ass-kicking partisan he really is. But so much the better; low expectations, plus Ryan’s entirely undeserved reputation as a policy wonk can only work to Old Uncle Joe’s benefit. He will smile genially, wave to the crowd, then rip Paul Ryan a new one. I cannot wait. I heart Joe.

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The Rulers We Deserve

Democracy is so annoying; it’s one of the reasons I don’t have a television. My TV-less life means I haven’t had to endure a single campaign ad this entire election cycle, and I am a calmer, happier person for it. Still, out of some misplaced sense of civic duty, I always watch presidential debates. But last night may have put an end to that for good. If we’d been smart, nobody would’ve shown up for that pointlessness, not you, not me, not my dog, and certainly not the candidates, both of whom looked like they would rather have been literally anywhere else on earth. [Read more...]