Low-Hanging Fruit: Dov Charney

Welcome to Low-Hanging Fruit,  an occasional feature in which I ridicule people who have already been so thoroughly castigated that they really don’t need me piling on to make the point. But then I go ahead and pile on anyway, because I’m just trivial enough to enjoy that sort of thing. This week’s overripe banana: horrible gross Dov Charney. For those of you new to this skeezy story, Charney is CEO of American Apparel,a serial sexual harasser and the alleged perpetrator of a kidnapping and assault, who finally fucked with the wrong girl and is now being sued for an ungodly sum by ex-employee Irene Morales. [Read more...]

Rough Justice

OK, so most of us at least dimly suspect that half of what goes down in the US justice system is some pretty dodgy shit: people getting locked up forever for having a joint, cops getting away with murder, what have you, it’s a mess. But in a courtroom, you hope you can at least assume that crime victims and the prosecution are more or less on the same side, in that they all want the guilty party to be found guilty and punished accordingly. But anyone who has more than passing familiarity with court proceedings knows that prosecutors are often arrogant, conviction-getting machines who won’t let anything stand between them and a win, even if it means compromising the rights of the victims whose interests they claim to represent. [Read more...]

Bad Dad Republicans, Getting What They Deserve

What do Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell, Michele Bachmann and Michael Steele all have in common? In addition to being blabbermouth nitwits who’ve made media careers of being hilariously unqualified for the jobs they either have or seek, they also specialize in alienating the political party that got them those jobs in the first place: the GOP.

In punditry news this week, Sarah Palin’s relentless stupidity is riling up her party’s establishment, to the extent that that group can be riled, and she also reportedly ran afoul of crazy old coot Roger Ailes. Normally, Sarah doesn’t mind pissing people off, because she has shrewdly deduced that totally infuriating everyone on Earth gets her page views and speaking gigs, so whatevs. [Read more...]

Charlie Sheen + LAPD = Best Friends 4-Evah!!

For once I’m guessing that Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen’s estranged wife, feels lucky that paparazzi are dogging her unhinged husband’s every move. When LA police got a tip that Charlie had a gun in violation of the restraining order she filed when he, you know, threatened to cut off her head, the cops actually went and took Sheen’s weapon. Most women aren’t so lucky; in fact, in many cases the police don’t even bother to show up and search, never mind confiscate anything. But because TMZ was in the bushes with a video camera, the LAPD took a little break from beating people up to raid the home of the notorious batterer, crack head and insane person and divest him of his gun and ammo which, under the circumstances, is literally the least they could do. [Read more...]

Keep It in Your Pants, Yo

I’d be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to welcome Congressman Alcee Hastings, D-FL, to a club no one really wants to join, but to which, based purely on the numbers, one would assume US politicians were beating down doors to gain entrance: The Hound Dog Brotherhood of Capitol Hill. Yes, it looks like that illustrious band of adulterers and skirt chasers has added another member to its ranks. Seriously, why do they do it? The days when politicians could actually get away with that kind of thing, by buying reporters cigars during their three-martini lunches at Sterling Cooper or whatever, have long since passed. And yet they soldier on, watching their defeated comrades fall around them and declaring: “I bet that girl’s flip video wasn’t even ON when I asked her bra size. I shall prevail!” [Read more...]

Happy International Women’s Day, Suckers

So there I was in the gym locker room, minding my own business for once, and in under a minute of watching CNN I saw the following headlines: 1) Jet-setting sociopath Joran van der Sloot, who came to prominence for allegedly-probably murdering Natalee Holloway in Aruba, is trying to plead down to manslaughter charges for totally-definitely murdering Stephany Flores in Peru. 2) In Texas, 18 men were arrested on suspicion of gang-raping an 11-year-old girl, though the suspects are black and it’s Texas, so I forbear further comment. 3) A judge upheld a statutory rape charge against one of the teens on trial in the Phoebe Prince suicide-bullying case. [Read more...]

We Don’t Know Jack

And we don’t know Charlie, either. Or Mel, or Chris, or Mike, or any of the host of public figures whose Wikipedia entries contain the footnote *Also likes to beat up women he’s sleeping with. Once you start looking, you see the landscape is littered with famous abusers. And while we often know more than we care to about the details of their freak-outs and rage benders, what we don’t seem to know is what the hell is wrong with them. And that strikes me as kind of important information to have, if we want to prevent them from being violent. [Read more...]